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Archive for February, 2010

I had lunch with a former professor of mine the other day.  My time in Canada is coming to a close, and he was asking me about it.  He asked, “How have you changed the most in your time here?”  Normally I don’t feel like I have good answers to those kinds of questions, but for this one, I was ready.

I said the biggest change was that now I had a positive identity.  When I came to Canada to go to graduate school, my identity was largely negative.  I had been living in a city with what seemed to me to be a pseudo-Christian culture, a place where people added a little Jesus-language to the American dream, gave a little shake, and call it Christianity.  I hated it.  I knew it wasn’t right, but couldn’t articulate a better way.  I knew who I wasn’t, but I didn’t know who I was.

Now it’s different.  Through some long, hard years of study and reflection, I’ve come to a place where I can articulate a better way.  I have an understanding of my faith that gives me life and is compelling.  It revolves around the concept of shalom, something I’ve written about on here before.

The next question: “How will it be going back?”  I had to laugh at that one because I know that I will encounter things that push my buttons and piss me off.  But as I thought about it, I realized it will be okay.  Those things are no longer a threat to me.  Now I my identity is rooted; I am defined by something else, something better.  With a solid center I shouldn’t be as susceptible to reacting against, to feeling like I need to set myself apart.  I know who I am and that will be enough.

Haha, that’s the theory anyway; we’ll see how it goes!



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